There is no article that says email like a woman

Today a coworker sent me this article, “Email Like A Dude.”

And look, I want to be clear. I do think that growing up as someone who identifies as female, we are shown that over and over again we are the weaker sex.

Let’s get that out of the way before I discuss the more finer points in the article. Yes, I do believe that in the workplace environment, we apologize too much. Yes, I do believe that women in the workplace say “does it make sense?” too much. But let’s remember that saying “I’m sorry”, or “does it make sense?” is not first a weakness, but a sign that you are an emphatic person, that you care. It’s not bad to say “I’m sorry.” It’s something to work on if you are using “I’m sorry” all the time as a way to make other people (men) feel better in the workplace.

The way to fix this is to instill confidence in women from a young age (read: the minute they are born) by not giving female children impossible sets of standards. The minute a child has a penis, parents want to celebrate certain traits that are seen as valuable for a man: confidence and assertiveness.

For women we have to:
Be confident but not overconfident.
Be smart, but not a know-it-all.
Be ambitious, but don’t expect much, quickly.
Be assertive, but don’t get in the way.
Answer questions, but wait till someone finishes speaking.

Source For More Information: Why Girls Apologize Too Much

Let’s talk about my number one issue with this article.

3. Hold off on the mom-talk.

You don’t need to offer any sweetness like “stay safe,” “take care” or “say hi to the kids” in a colleague / business email, no matter how much you may want to. Even if you say these things to that colleague in person, save it for the water cooler. Why? That email might wind its way through a chain to management, so keep it simple. A mere “All best” or “Cheers” or a pro-forma signature line is just fine.

This is not “mom-talk” — I am not a mom and I am always telling people to “stay safe” during COVID or asking about how their kids are. Do you know what that isn’t? That isn’t weak.

Let me say it again. That isn’t weakness. I am not a weak person because I want someone to not contract the COVID-19 virus. Caring about people is not a sign of weakness. Bringing your full self to work is not a sign of weakness.

Remind yourself every time you want to police the way you talk in a work environment, think about “what if there was an article around telling men to talk more like women.” How would men react? Would they change their approach or keep doing what they are born and bred to do?

Let’s think about how it would work for the other side:

1. Instead of saying “Cassie, I’m going to make the decision here.” you could try saying “Cassie, I really value your opinion, let’s discuss the pros and cons.”
2. Instead of saying “Susan, that’s a little overly ambitious to think you’d get promote this cycle, don’t you think?” you could say “Susan, I think you are really close to getting a promotion, but here are the five things I’d like you to work on to get there. Let’s set goals and check in weekly on how you are tracking.”
3. Instead of saying “Do you want to have kids?” say nothing.
4. Instead of saying “Do you have a Bumble account?” say nothing.
5. Instead of saying “Maria, why won’t you come to after-hours drinks? That’s where all the business really gets done!” say “Maria, I totally respect your decision to not attend. Let’s set up a meeting during business hours to discuss it.”

Men, it’s really that simple! Use these simple five steps to just shut the fuck up and leave us alone.